ruminations

Much as I treasure the experiences of riding the NYC subway, I was reminded this week that the joys of the commuter rail are nothing to sneeze at. Firstly, I realized what a blessing it is that the subway is under ground; this means that there is NO CELL PHONE COVERAGE. Commuters are not shy and will go on at length about the most personal details of their life on their mobile phones - naturally, at a higher volume than inside speaking voice because, of course, they're on the phone. They seem to have factored in their commute as "personal time" during which they take care of calling mom, sweetheart, kids, shrinks, doctors, babysitters, drycleaners, banks, and old college friends. Then there's the fact that people from New Jersey - like people from Long Island - are savages. They smoke on the station platform (I don't care if it's outside) and play music on boomboxes. Nobody complains, not even the ticket guy, who walked past two teenagers blasting crappy hiphop at each station stop without batting an eyelid. And finally, while the subway seats are by no means comfortable, at least you don't have to suffer people digging into your backside every few minutes with their knees or feet or I don't know what.

My new consulting gig makes me go to New Jersey twice a week, which takes me two-and-a-half hours door-to-door each way. I get to enjoy the subway AND the commuter rail. At the end of the second day I was really crabby. Some people there do it every day. Unfathomable.

In other news, I discovered the new HBO series "Tell Me You Love Me." It's a drama show about four couples: a couples counselor and her husband and the three couples she is counseling (though one "couple" is just the woman). It's really engrossing. One couple is trying to get pregnant, one couple has stopped having sex, and one couple has just broken off their engagement, while the couples' counselor (Jane Alexander) has to deal with the reappearance of a former lover.

What baffles me is how much the two main couples - the one trying to get pregnant and the one not having sex - are in love with each other despite the huge problems they're having. They're constantly telling each other how much they love the other, for one. They're very tender with each other. The couple not having sex works together as smooth as butter, parenting their kids and taking care of the household. The couple trying to get pregnant has sex all the time, and each time it's full of kissing, lots and lots of slurpy kissing, and fondling and stroking etc. I'm just so surprised - my last relationship involved tons of sex but the kissing grew less and less, sometimes we had sex completely without having kissed. That's happened in other relationships as well. You kinda start shortcutting the foreplay and get straight to intercourse. Also, the three couples having sex keep having sex the same way. In the five episodes so far, with each episode having numerous extremely explicit sex scenes, it's always been either missionary or woman on top facing man. I keep waiting for some other scenarios. And the women seem to come each time, during intercourse. Is that realistic? I haven't come during intercourse - without other stimulation - once ever since I went on medication. I used to be able to come sometimes when on top, but never missionary-style.

Anyway, it's been interesting, watching the show. I must have had really bad luck with men, or these couples are not fully representative. Even when they have bitter arguments they make up almost right away and are all sweet and tender and horny again. Not much of the silent treatment or the overreactions or the nasty sarcasm or just plain boredom of relationships I've been in.

Must get back to work.

gertrude